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在我还没遇见恩师--李金城老师以前，

我是一个极度悲观、极度自卑、爱转牛角尖的女孩..

*明白我为什么自卑了呗~*

过去的20年里，每天都让自己过得很不开心..

我一直是爸爸妈妈最担心的孩子..

他们总是为我开心而开心，为我伤心而伤心...

*现在回想起来真是惭愧..*

爸爸妈妈13年前开始就在顺育环境里学习，

他们发现这个环境很好，所以一直鼓励我来参与~

一开始还小的我当然是一直拒绝，

这一拒，就拒了13年~

虽然间中我偶尔有去参与..

却从未真真正正地打开自己的心门~

李老师说：“把心关在门里面就会‘悶’，把门打开让心出来就会‘開心’。”

这句话真的没错~

幸好爸爸妈妈一直没有放弃我，

不断地鼓励我去参与..

终于在今年年中，李老师的一场分享大会让我开窍了一些~

听完老师的分享，我做了一件自从我12岁后就没再做的事..

*从小到大，跟爸爸的关系并不是很好.. 惭愧..*

给了我敬爱的超人老爸一个大大的拥抱~

在8月头的时候，经过老师一点，我的任督二脉也通了~

老师的字字句句深深地烙印在我脑海里~我永远都不会忘记~

*感恩李老师和桂珠姐~*

李老师说：“我们年轻人总是为自己想太多，为父母想太少。”

这句话一点都没错~

我总是以自己为中心，总是忽略爸爸妈妈心中的感受..

无数次地对他们做出语言上的伤害..

*近来，我悟到了，当别人不了解的时候，就会变成误解。*

所以我因为不了解父母的爱，而误会他们为我所做的一切..

我一直以为妈妈所做的一切都是无谓的..

却不知道那都是因为她爱我，不想我受伤..

*老妈，对不起，谢谢您~*

老师说：“年轻不懂事，懂事就不年轻。”

现在我懂了.. 其实爸爸妈妈很关心我，很爱我..

以前他们偶尔会为了我，夜里窝在被单里默默掉泪..

老师还说：“不要把福气当应该，要知恩、感恩、报恩。”

以前，我总以为爸爸妈妈做的是应该的..

但却不知道.. 其实这是我这一辈子修来的福气..

老师说过：“人不是被教育，而是被提醒的。”

记得我被点醒的第一天，我做了这辈子从未做过的事--给在新山的爸爸打电话~

一开口还很兴奋地喊着：“哈咯帅哥!” 

*老爸还以为别人借用我的电话打给他~

因为我从未主动联系他，也不曾叫过他帅哥~哈哈~*

当然~ 现在跟老爸的感情很好~ 老爸很开心也很放心~

*再次感恩李老师和桂珠姐~*

我真的很敬佩李老师和桂珠姐~ *我心目中永远的偶像♥♥*

顺育也就是顺从教育，推广的是待人处事的文化~

老师总是不断地提醒我们说：“做人100分，做事就会100分。”

真的，一个人做人成功，做事一定也跟着成功~

老师就是很好的例子~

在老师的教诲下，昔日悲观的我已不存在~

现在我虽然还是会小小emo~ 但我emo的气质已经消失了~

这是我上司说的呐~ *我在那里做了三年的假期工~*

她说：“绮珍，这次回来你变了呢~ 比较开朗乐观~ 少了emo的气息~”

*小小就散播emo气息~ XD*

哈哈~ 真的很感恩李老师和桂珠姐~

李老师说：“发生什么事情的时候，你要跟自己说好好笑哦。”

他还说：“凡事发生都是好的。”

我听懂了~ 发生什么事情的时候，就跟自己说：

“好好笑哦~ 这么多人没遇见~ 既然给我遇见了~ 真好笑~ :D ”

整个人心情都豁达了许多~ 

桂珠姐说：“放手是为了握紧生命中更重要的东西。”

我听懂了，不再去执着于过去的事情~

该放手的就放手~ 因为过去的终究会过去~ 

我们的生活只会向前，不会倒退~

桂珠姐还说：“每天要给别人开心、信心和希望。”

我听懂了，所以开始学习一直微笑~ *天生苦瓜脸~~*

微笑久了会变成习惯性微笑~ 这样别人看到心情也比较好~

给别人开心、信心和希望~ 自己心情也特棒~ :D

感谢爸爸妈妈一直鼓励我参与顺育环境~ 成为顺育的孩子~

感谢顺育环境! 感恩李老师桂珠姐!

李老师说：“不要因忙碌而忘记梦想，而要为了梦想而忙碌。”

忙忙碌碌的你，还记得自己的梦想是什么吗?

现在的我~ 充满着正能量~ 为着自己的梦想努力奋斗~ 

我相信我一定会实现~!

*恩师~ 一辈子的偶像~*

p.s. 亲爱的朋友们~ 我随时准备好将我的正能量分给你~ 加油~!

Officially 21~♪

2012年8月1日~ 正式21岁了~

*不再是小孩~ 法律上是成人了~*

有人这么跟我说：

“你太成熟了，而且展现了不是一般人的强悍。

现在的你变了，

不再那么容易表露你的情绪，

不管你是喜怒哀乐，都是用笑容来带过。”

*是好事还是坏事呢?*

唔.. 我在别人的眼里是一个极度悲观消极的人~ 

因为一直以来都是那种pattern~ 所以已经被定型了~

*Eechinophyta Besta R2 Version*

提到绮珍，大家的反应就是：

“哦~她很emo的~”

*绮珍=emo; emo=绮珍*

而且整天板着脸~ 七情六欲都写在脸上~

现在比较厉害了~ 没那么容易表露出来~ *可以去演戏了~哈哈~*

怎么说呢?

就是那种低着头哭泣，一转头马上若无其事地说笑的情形~

*好像有精神分裂酱~ XD*

当然~ 在忍受不了的情况下，偶尔还是会失控的~ XD

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说实在，像我这种性格的人.. 很容易就被社会淘汰~

残酷的现实生活中~

什么己所不欲，勿施于人的话.. 似乎只是说说而已~

感情用事、为别人设想好像只是苦了自己..

为了生存，是否自私自利、以自己为中心才是上策?

我搞不懂..

有人跟我说：

“没心没肺，活着不累。”

*唔.. 也许吧? 但是我做不到.. 真的做不到..*

有些时候，也许有人会觉得为什么对方错了，

我即使生气、受伤了..

不反驳，反而默默承受..

甚至会为对方所做的事找理由..

*哈哈~白痴~但那就是我~*

有人这么跟我说：

“你的情绪是跟着你周遭的人而改变。”

哈哈~没错~如果你是我的朋友~

因为你在我的心里占有一席~

所以你的情绪，就是我的情绪~ XD

21岁的我希望自己能冷血一点~ :P

*现在正在努力中~*

如果你觉得我不再像以前一样热血的话~

请谢谢那些伤害我，为我带来心灵上的折磨和压力的人~

是他们让我经历那些低潮的~

哈哈~

我也会学着去笑看人生~

有人说我笑起来其实还能见人~

所以我想要一直笑着~不要再去吓人~

表被我的笑容电到吖~木啊哈哈哈哈~ *自恋ing*

*个人认为相似度高达99.99%的素描~*

“做别人不能做的事，吃别人不能吃的苦，受别人不能受的气，

就能过别人不能过的生活。”

- eechinophyta -

曹操 vs 操曹

不知道你们有没有听过曹操的一句名言：

“宁教我负天下人，不教天下人负我。”

意思好象是宁可我辜负一切人，

也不让任何人辜负我.. 是吧? (.__.")

*拍写吖~ 不是很懂~*

曾经有人怎么对我说：

“你吖~ 你是操曹~ 因为你是‘宁教天下人负我，不教我负天下人。’”

是吗? 我真的是这样的人吗?

我自己也不知道.. *蛮彷徨的~*

有时候.. 我真的希望自己能够冷血..

事情发生的时候.. 不管自己对或错..

坚持自己是对的.. 不管别人的感受.. 在意自己就好..

遗憾的是.. 我做不到.. 我怎么都做不到..

事情发生时，心里的某个角落，

总有那么一个角落.. 让我去试着想想别人的感受..

让自己试着站在对方的立场去看事情~ *当然不是每次成功啦~*

成功的时候，最后难受的.. 是自己~

偶尔我会想：

“其实.. 有没有人站在我的角度想过?"

*这时候老哥的话就会闪过：“你又知道别人想过，可能他们也是这样想呢?”*

也许有人会觉得我小气.. 容易耿耿于怀~

对于不是我朋友的人，是的~ 我容易耿耿于怀~ 

因为你对我来说什么都不是，凭什么讲我~

对于我很重要的人，你们所说的话..

字字句句不是听在耳里，

而是烙在心上..

*好啦~ 是我小心眼~*

也许我来错世界了吧?

幼稚的我无法融入残酷的现实中..

依旧活在自己的框框里~

*不是说己所不欲，勿施于人吗?*

可是.. 我怎么看都好像不是呐~ *郁闷中..*

我想要以曹操为榜样~

结果成了操曹吖~~

*Call me 操曹~~*

唉.. 乱七八糟地写了莫名其妙的blog ("= —— =)

=eechinophyta=

After watching The Change Up

The Change Up is a movie about 2 buddies who envy each other's lives~

Dave Lockwood

 rich, married, successful lawyer who is busy with work~

always wanting to have more than what he already had~

focus all his time on his work~

Mitch Planko

single, playful, quasi-employed man-child lacking of responsibilities~

had a messed up life~

They got drunk after gathering~

Dave wanted to live freely like Mitch;

Mitch wanted to have a wealthy life like Dave~

The next morning~ they woke up to be the different selves~

As the story goes, Dave found out that he is actually missing his old life~

he realized that he had been neglecting his wife and kids~

Mitch found out that he has been hated because of his intolerable characteristics~

his dad and even Dave (his best buddy) couldn't stand his bad habit~

he realized that he has to change~ he wanted to turn over a new leaf~ 

**************************************************************************

I felt touch and wanted to cry at the end of the story~

it reminds me of our real lives~

*Quite a nice movie but erm.. not very suitable for under 18.. you know what I mean*

*I was unaware about that element when I download the movie =.="*

Anyway~ is so true~

People always envy what others possess neglecting what they have in hand~

We often think that things others have are better than ours~ *funny huh?*

people never know what they have until they lost it..

people do not learn to treasure things until they are gone..

Same goes to life~ we often envy others~ the way they live~

but.. we are not them~ how do we know what are left unseen?

others may seems to be having a great life to us~

but we don't know what they had been through~

Thus, while we envy them~ they might be envying us too~ right?

There's one nice quote at the end of the movie by Mitch Planko~

"Life doesn't always turn out exactly how you've planned, but sometimes,

just sometimes, it turns out better."

Treasure what you have, love your life~

Cause.. someone else is envying whatever you possess :)

-eechinophyta-

Confusion..

Is about 1 month since my last post~

Was busy with my finals~

Now~ I'm finally free and had officially ended my second year life~

After 1 month without blogging~ my first post for June is about "confusion"~

Just now I watched a video related to confusion by Ribena Berry~ *man~ she's hilarious~*

Life is indeed full with confusion isn't it?

I'm not home yet~ *I don't wanna go home~~~ nah~ i'm just kidding~*

 I had an appointment for body check-up on 27 June 2012~ *which is today~*

my appointment is at 2pm at PPUM~

since I'm currently in subang~ I departed earlier to UM~
Why? To student's clinic to get some medicine for my unknown allergy~ :x

*yeah I know is gross~ TAT and I thought I'm gonna die anytime~ XD*
*sorry if the photos have caused discomfort..*

For 21 years, I've never experience this before~

The doctor said is allergy~ she said it can be anything~

Food? nah~ I eat everything as long as it is food for the past 21 years~ *nothing happens*

Weather? maybe~ you know~ the stupid haze~

Dust? maybe~ I think is quite common if people get rashes if the environment is dirty~

anyway~ they appeared at different parts~ sometimes arms, legs or back~

and the reason for these is still a mystery to me (=.=") *confused~*

Then I headed to PPUM at 12pm~ *walking from 12th college~ exhausted~*

after lunch~ I waited at the department at 12.30pm~

I thought that it is still early from the 2pm appointment~

so I rested a while on the bench till 1.15pm~ *I don't know why I'm so tired~*

then I told the receptionist that I've got an appointment at 2pm~ *it was 1.25pm~*

and guess what~ she asked me to take number~ *totally shocked~*

isn't everyone agree that an appointment means that you do not have to wait?
thus, a short notice on the table stated: “Those with appointments will be served first.”
so how can I not be shocked?
If we were to take numbers~ what's the point of having an appointment? *totally confused~*
anyway~ I still took a number~ I'm 151 and they are handling 124~

*confusion: appointment vs Q*

p.s. I got this number at 1.25pm not 1.48pm~

Finally my turn, I walked to the counter for payment~

then, he gave me another number~

*is this some kind of joke?*

p.s. If not mistaken~ I got this number at about 2pm not 2.14pm~

Some might think that "'well.. is just 22 people ahead, shouldn't be a problem."

And you are totally wrong~ 

the number does not go accordingly~

it can go from 0002 to 0010 to 6003 and so on~ *confusing..*

But what to do? *sigh..* what I can do is just wait~

Guess how long I've waited for a 10 minutes body check up~~

30 minutes? nope~ 1 hour? nope~

Almost 2 hours~ my number was finally being called at 4pm~ *amazing huh?*

Then I got another appointment on 27 February 2013 at 2pm~

Lolz~!! so.. what time should I come? *confused.. oh god...*

-eechinophyta-

×× 伪装●逃避 ××

哈~ Study week就是让我们K书冲刺的时侯~

天天对着notes和slideshow~ 是想把我闷死吖??

结果.. 最近我爱上画小型漫画~~ XD

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("●﹏●) 开不了口 (●﹏●")